- Look you see it just up there past the bakery? That blue sign. That's where he's going to come out of.
- Well can you see it?
Yep.
C'mon I said don't be scared this is a victimless crime.
I just don't want anything to happen.
He's a genius you know. We're lucky to know him.
Look, do you want me to drive?
No no it's ok can you just let me go?
Not yet, don't worry mate this is all going to go off no problems. Just sit tight.
Shouldn't be long.
What do you want me to do when he comes out?
Just drive around the corner is all. It won't take more than a minute and you can go back to whatever it was you were doing. Christ it's hot today is the air-conditioning on?
It doesn't work unless we're actually driving.
You know what he said to me one day? God it was hot then too we were waiting and you'll like this you've got to just love this we're waiting in line in the morning outside in the yard right you ever been in prison?
Only once.
Really?
Drunk in a public place they locked me up for a few hours.
Right. And this guy next to us says he's going to count to twenty in his head an' if the boss screw hasn't come out by then he's gunna say something.
And so we all wait and after a bit he says like 'Right I've counted that's it.' And you know what Beano says?
No.
He says 'You missed sixteen.'
Get it?
You get it, the guy? Like he was reading his mind. And the guy looks confused for a second and you know what Beano says?
No.
He says, like just confident and all you know, he says 'You'd better start again.' Ha. And the guy, get this, the guy does start again and I'm looking at his face and you can just see he's making sure, bloody sure, that he's counting every number. Fucking hilarious.
Do you want to take the car?
No no not at all.
It's a whatyoucallit a money transferring place business. They move money around the world for trading and stuff. You wouldn't know it on a street like this would you? Just a little glass door, an office.
Suppose the rent's cheaper than in the city.
Yeah and he lives nearby. Not far anyway. Don't feel like a victim or anything right this is nothing against you you know you just happened to be here. We have absolutely nothing against you, personally.
You have that gun.
Yeah but look, this is all going to just happen nice and easy and then you can go back to your life. In a way you're lucky you know. You're not going to get hurt but here you are, plucked out of life and you get to be involved in this amazing thing. You're gunna be famous when they hear about this. All the media and the cops and everything. You'll be able to tell your grandkids you met Beano and Jimmy. Fuck I'm doing you a favour.
How long does he need to be in there for?
Not long. What's your name?
Ken.
I'm Jimmy, Ken. Nice to meet you. I won't ask you to shake hands given the situation but I'm sending you good brain waves Ken. You feel those waves Ken you'll know this is all cool as cucumber.
Right.
So what's he doing then?
Right now?
Yeah right now.
Well right now he's probably playing the tapes. Not really tapes but a little thingy in a Dictaphone thing you know?
What tapes?
Now Ken, there are things you want to know and things you don't want to know, you know?
OK.
You really want to know?
While we're waiting.
OK then so listen it's really cool and I can tell you're a good bloke so I'll tell you what's happening because I guess anyway you're going to find out when the cops come after you. And that's another thing while I remember it I have to tell you Ken that once you drop us off you can go straight to the cops ok? Don't think we'll hold anything against you ok? You've just got to do what you think is the right thing and we don't want you personally to get into any trouble so you just go off to the police straight away ok? The cop shop is just up the road right, just back up there and turn left. You drive there ok? You drive there and tell them what's happened.
OK?
OK.
Alright. So you still want to know what's happening?
Yes. I guess so.
It's so cool. This guy up there in that office right, like I told you it's a money transfer place or something right. So he lives about say five blocks down there and Beano found out because, well, actually that's not part of it. The guy is not a victim either really it's completely random. It's not about him at all. Beano found the company out of the yellow pages and then found the guy's address somehow. But anyhow the point is this we bugged his house right. I waited in the car that time too. Beano just went right in and put this little recorder thing in the roof, climbed up through the manhole in the ceiling when they were out.
And this recorder thing it's voice activated right and it can stay on for like weeks. It's really expensive let me tell you but you can buy them from like most technical kind of shops. So we left it there you follow?
I think so.
And what do you think we picked up when we went back to get the recorder and took it back to the flat and listened to it?
Dunno.
C'mon think about it. We just picked up a whole lot of like normal family shit. You ever have a normal family because let me tell you they are not the same as a normal-normal family like most of the people I know had. Anyway he has a wife and a daughter and the wife works in the city doing some kind of insurance shit, which is funny, which is going to be funny anyway, later. And the daughter you know she's in primary school up at North Brunswick you know it, just up on the corner there.
Yeah I know it.
She's in like grade five or something. Beautiful girl from the sound of her voice but I've never seen her.
Is that him?
Huh? No that's not him that person came out of the next shop down. I hope.
And so anyway Beano, the fucking genius man did I tell you he's a fucking genius for this? He gets all that recording shit and puts it on his computer and splices it up so it's got things on it like when the girl says like 'Daddy!!' or like 'Help!!' or something over some shit like she's lost her doll or she's fallen over or something right. And he's got the wifey saying things like 'This is serious' or whatever over the telephone bill or something. So you can see where this is going right?
I think so.
So Beano has these spliced sentences kind of thing and right now he's gone up there to that office and sat the guy down and told him that we have kidnapped his daughter and his wife and he's got to transfer some money or else right? Plays him the tape as proof.
Jesus.
But that's the thing Ken, we haven't got his wife or daughter at all, the girl's at school and the wifey's at work and all as normal you know? There is no victim here really.
The guy can't be too happy.
You know what these fuckers do for a living Ken? You know how much money they have?
No but still.
You've got a lot to learn boyo.
So then what, I mean what will happen next?
Well so now the guy's going to transfer a shitload of money into bank accounts we set up in places I don't think I should tell you the right location of but anyway and this is the hard bit, in a way.
What?
Well these people aren't like banks and that right they can transfer money straight away you see, that's why it only works with this kind of money transfer business. This is not retail Ken this is fucking wholesale money man. They clear hundreds of millions of dollars around the world every day, this guy, apparently, can move it like now, there's no waiting you know?
Hmm.
But there is a small gap of time, like a few minutes. So we've got guys waiting at the other end and when the money is transferred through which shit I'll tell you one accounts is in Japan can you guess why Japan?
A long way away?
Yes but on the same time-zone. Huh? You never thought of that did you? So once the money is transferred we got four guys waiting outside four banks in Japan and Beano will give them a text and then they go and withdraw the money.
How much money are we talking about here?
That depends. More than a couple of mill.
How can they carry that much cash?
This is Japan we're talking about Ken. Each will take out a few mill and we're off.
You got to trust those guys.
That's the hard bit Ken I'll admit that I've never met them. And the coordination of it all, that's the hard bit also. But we'll also be transferring money to an account in the Bahamas, which over there the banks stay open longer so it will be only just on closing time when the money's transferred in. Same deal but only one guy will go in and withdraw the money in US dollars and fly out that night to a destination I really can not tell you. Kind of our own insurance you know as the Japan guys don't know about the Bahama guy and vice versa. So you see, victimless.
Still a lot of fear.
Fear yes I'll admit that we are giving this guy some fear but think about it, when he realises that actually his daughter is fine and happy and playing on the monkey bars or whatever how do you think he's going to feel?
Relieved.
You can fucking bet on it man he is going to realise how much he loves his family like big time. Really big time he's going to go into all that love again and honestly, like, I'll tell you when we were listening to the tapes, there was not an overabundance of love in that family like right now Ken, but after this, shit, there's going to be big love. So we're doing him a favour in a way too. And shit the money's bound to be insured so he's not going to lose anything anyway. No victims at all. Fucking genius.
How long is it going to take to transfer the money? I mean how long until he comes out?
Shouldn't be long.
Look. That's him.
What's he waving at us for?
I dunno we better go take a look.
You want me to come?
Ken I think it would be better, just stay calm and walk with me.
Fuck Jimmy I don't know.
Ken just do this for me it will all be over soon. Lock the car.
Beano?
Jimmy who's this?
It's Ken is everything ok?
Beano: Close the door.
Jimmy: Where's the receptionist girl?
Beano: They're in here, quick come through. Lock the front door.
Jimmy: Holy Fuck Beano what happened?
Beano: It was an accident I fucking swear man I was just holding it and he was doing the computer thing and the girl was standing right over there, right next to him and I'm holding it like this and then fucking bang bang it goes off.
Jimmy: Twice? It goes off twice?
Beano: No man fucking four times at least it just goes off I swear I hardly touched the trigger at all.
Jimmy: He's a fucking mess. She looks ok.
Beano: But they're neither of them moving.
Jimmy: Ken I'm really sorry about this this is not what was meant to happen you know.
Ken:
Beano: I swear it was an accident.
Ken:
Jimmy: Look at the computer did he transfer the money or what?
Beano: I think so, I mean I can't tell it says it's thinking.
Jimmy: Thinking?
Beano: Yeah it just says transferring and there's this little bar that's sort of growing across the screen I guess it must be doing it now but it's been doing it for about three minutes.
Jimmy: And what you've just been watching it?
Beano: Well it's moving really slowly see?
Jimmy: Did it go for both accounts?
Beano: I don't fucking know. I think so. I mean he was playing with the computer for a while before it happened.
Jimmy: Shit.
Ken:
Beano: Look it's stopped moving. But it hasn't finished it's only about three quarters through.
Jimmy: What if it's crashed?
Beano: Maybe I should call the boys and they can go in and just see if the money's there?
Jimmy: Up to you.
Beano: We'll just give it another minute.
Ken:
Jimmy:
Beano:
Ken:
Beano: It's moving again. I think it's done it.
Jimmy: Thank fuck for that. What about these two?
Beano: We can't do anything about it now. Maybe Ken can you stay here, call an ambulance or something?
Ken: Whatever you say.
Beano: Yeah that's a good idea can we take your car still?
Ken: Absolutely.
Jimmy: Great. Give us the keys then we'll leave it round the corner in Blythe Street you know Blythe Street?
Ken: Yep.
Beano: OK let's go.
Jimmy:
Beano: Jimmy?
Ken:
Beano: Jimmy?
Jimmy: No it's useless. We can't do this Beano.
Beano: What? What do you mean? Let's go.
Jimmy: We can't do this now.
Beano: Holy fuck Jimmy what do you mean? We've got to get out of here right now.
Ken:
Jimmy: Ken I think you understand.
Ken: Take the car Jimmy I swear just take the car.
Jimmy: It's not about you Ken. This is a whole different league we're in now.
Beano: Fuck sake Jimmy.
Jimmy: Beano you know I'm right. It's your fault you shot those people.
Beano: I already told you that was a mistake.
Ken: I'll tell them it was a mistake I swear I'll tell them that Jimmy.
Jimmy: It's not your fault Ken, I'm not saying that, I'm not putting any blame on you personally at all, you understand.
Beano: What?
Jimmy: We can't just leave him here like this.
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